September 10, 2013 by The Sweetest Plum
Whilst giving a tip is not a daily exercise on this website, nonetheless this is the ‘tip of the day’ today, and will probably turn into tip of the year- not implying it’s the best tip this year, just most likely the only one on this site.
Now, this is a tip for any young boys who want to experience touching women’s breasts but do not have any available to them. Actually, it is for anyone who wants touch women’s breasts, why leave women out of that? They may be sick of their own or just be on bad terms with them, or they may only really enjoy touching them if they belong to someone else. And what about men? Fully grown men love touching breasts; or so I hear when I sit locked in a cubicle in the toilets at the MCG, frantically scribbling notes at half time. And for that matter what about old men? They love touching breasts, I bet. Old women? The extremely old? Pre, mid or post-op transsexuals? What about dogs, cats, small children, big children, someone else’s children, hobos, badgers, money crabs? You name it, pretty much everyone, except catholic priests, loves honking onto a good pair of breasts once in a while. So most everyone, this is for you.
The beauty of this tip is that you don’t even need any real breasts of any shape or size to experience their supple qualities. All you need is a swimming pool of any distance, but one with an area where the water comes only a little above your waist (or naval if you prefer). Once waist deep in the water (presuming you’ve done the necessary showering and changing from suit, robes or overalls into a one-piece bathing costume) all you needs do is stretch out your arms to each side and very, very gently rest your palms on top of the surface of the water. Now the magic begins. Walk very slowly forward, making sure your hands are barely touching the tippy top of the water, and as your palms glide along your will now experience the miraculous feeling of what some of the world’s greatest thinkers have described as “squeezing booby”.
And there you have it. Feel away. But be prepared! This is a sensuous experience. This is like caressing a real breast; it’s not some slapping jugs contest. It’s like touching mother Theresa’s breast- no forget that, bad, very bad example. Put it this way, it’s not like high-fiving a stripper who has no arms. It’s like touching jelly for the first time…Hey! There’s a much better idea. Just make jelly! Just make big tit-shaped mounds of jelly and grab onto that! Good luck boys…ahh, I mean all man and woman kind.